


One April Night

by sukinohana



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Angst, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:42:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26996107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukinohana/pseuds/sukinohana
Summary: On one April night, the burden of solitude and grief was alleviated.On one April night their bond eluded the impenetrable barrier between life and death, reassuring the love for each other.On one April night they were together again.
Relationships: Lord John Grey/Hector
Comments: 10
Kudos: 18
Collections: Lord John Trick-or-Twink Spooktacular 2020





	One April Night

Flaring lightning illuminated the room making it appear for an instant like a blank space. Crashing thunder, pouring rain and convulsing windows harmonized in a daunting hymn. And yet, the raging storm outside was insignificant compared with John’s internal turmoil; painful memories flooded his eyes and emotions powerful as thunder sent violent shivers through his body. Sitting by the fireplace, John clutched his most precious possession, Hector’s sapphire ring. The only tangible object Hector left behind the day of their last goodbye, exactly one year ago.

With considerable effort John recalled the days after Hector’s tragic ending, buried under an agonizing blur made of sleepless nights in the Highlands and the uninterrupted use of alcohol to numb the slow burn of his soul and the permanent aching weight embedded in his chest, dragging him down to a pit of eternal mourning. Shame also tinted his recollections of the multiple nights when he tried another body, in a frenetic impulse to forget Hector. Consequently, his brother Hal confronted him, demanding to know the reason for his careless state, always wearing a suspicious look at the new item in his hand. Hal’s recriminations added to Grey’s anguish, left him feeling alone and guilty of the great humiliation brought to the family.

Before this day, afraid to give more reasons for Hal’s further reprobation, John managed miraculously to conceal any sorrowful indication from his face or behaviour. Once alone in his bedroom, unable to contain his misery any longer, John just let his heart bleed. Memories with Hector revolved in his mind, inflicting a sharp pain in his chest. John missed Hector’s soft blue eyes and his radiant smile every time their eyes met; the endless conversations under the stars; the strong and warm body pressed against his, loving each other. The irreparable abyss between them left John breathless, wishing to feel less, to move on. Hector was dead, nothing could be done now. _But how can I forget my love?_

John wanted Hector with him _right now_. He would do anything to _hold_ _Hector again_. 

The window behind John flew open, the banging shutters distracting him from his brooding thoughts. Looking over his shoulder, he observed with indifference as the rain rushed in and endured the violent tremors delivered by the chilled currents. John pondered the idea of ignoring the window; at this point he couldn’t care less for ruined papers and flooded floors. But eventually John began to freeze, so he shut the window to avoid the rheum. 

While closing the window John noticed a pale glow emerging from the stone of Hector’s ring. Furrowing his brow in confusion, John brought the ring to his eyes for a closer inspection. _What is the meaning of this?_ There was a cold breeze behind him, bringing with it a state of total alertness. His shoulders tensed up and his palms broke out in a cold sweat. He was ready to fight— _but against what?_ His mind couldn’t bring a satisfactory answer. John had felt the same disturbing state at moments of imminent danger in the battlefield. To experience the same in his own bedroom was illogical. He tried to dismiss his absurd reaction without success.

Conspicuously aware of the insistent cold beam at his back, he turned around slowly, his breath coming short and his heart racing. 

_Hector_. John couldn’t believe his eyes.

Uncontrollable waves of cold panic travelled through his body. His closed throat denied the exit of any sound or entrance of air. The impossible vision shook the world around him, making John stumble backwards to put distance between him and… _whatever it was_. He backed into the table under the window and couldn’t move farther. His shaking hands searched for a sword or a weapon, but John was helpless.

John awaited anxiously for the next movement of the apparition, but it remained motionless, gazing at him with intent. Interminable minutes passed, giving John the opportunity to find his breath again. Even in his state of shock, John gathered his racing mind, trying to study the situation. _How could this be possible?_

He was seeing Hector—his Hector—in front of him. _Has all the grieving made me lose my mind?_ Was it a rather vivid dream? Was he seeing a ghost? No matter the reason, the vision entranced his soul. John's memories of Hector had been ingrained in his mind and heart from the moment he learned the tragic news. When the unbearable solitude created delirious states in John, he prayed fervently to see Hector again. Perhaps the immensity of his love had brought Hector back to him.

His visceral fear was mingled with a magnetic attraction to the image of his lover. Resolved, John closed the distance—now of only meters—between them and lifted his hands to cup Hector’s pale face, ardently hoping to touch his skin one more time. Although his hands were in the desired position, he merely perceived a tingling sensation. _A ghost then_ . Contrary to a normal horrified reaction to the presence of a _ghost_ , John’s panic faded away and he found an eerie state of calm. He could sense no evil in it; in contrast a beam of benevolence and love enveloped him.

Capable of speech again, John tried to communicate. “Hector I…I have missed you terribly. I still love you with my heart and soul.” 

Hector replied nothing. 

Then John implored, “Please take me with you!” 

At that Hector moved back, indicating a negative. The sudden movement startled John, still unsure if the situation was just a projection of his wretched mind. Nonetheless, John accepted the _presence_ only as a consolation to his eyes, nothing more. 

Still curious to know more about the nature of the visitor, John walked around Hector. He took his time, absorbing every detail. Hector wore the military garments of his fatal day. When their eyes met, he felt peace for the first time in the last tortuous year. 

The metallic sound of the clock indicating midnight pierced John’s ears, making him jump, now sensitive to each sound. With great agitation he saw Hector disappear in a heartbeat. 

“Please don't go! I don't want a life without you!” John begged. Frantic eyes scanned all over the room, only to find an oppressive emptiness enclosing him. Deprived of the presence of his love _once again,_ John collapsed into the floor letting the agony curl his body, clinging desperately to the vision of Hector in his memory. _Will you return again? When?’_

The storm ceased in the light of the next day when John finally found his way to unconsciousness.

* * *

* * *

_On one April night, the burden of solitude and grief was alleviated._

_On one April night their bond eluded the impenetrable barrier between life and death, reassuring the love for each other._

_On one April night they were together again._

It was almost time. Some time ago John had replaced fear with expectation, despite the supernatural nature of the matter. Tonight John was standing by the fireplace, waiting. 

Feeling the familiar breeze on his back and noticing the glowing stone, a glint of excitement adorned his eyes. Grinning, John turned.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> I would like to express my deepest gratitude to MistressPandora for all the valuable help offered in all the stages of the writing process.


End file.
